One of the hardest things I've ever had to do

This past weekend was a very rough weekend. I had decided to go down to the lake house to spend the weekend with my grandparents. We had a multitude of things on the agenda that I was going to help them with...so I went down Friday after work. When I got down there...my grandfather, Papa, was on the phone with the vet about our Brittany Spaniel, Ginger. She was having intestinal problems that were causing messes, to put it politely. And she couldn't control it. Since about August, she started eating like a horse - up to 5 cans of wet food and anything and everything put in front of her. She was also losing weight. You could see every rib in her chest and her hip bones. We thought she had an intestinal parasite. And she did - the vet gave her some parasite meds to get rid of it. But after the meds were finished, she didn't get better. She started going downhill. Buzzards were coming to eat her feces after she went #2. Our Ginger was very sick - but would eat like crazy and still run and run and run. She was fighting.

Before I go any further, here's a little background on Ginger.

Thirteen years ago, almost 14, I was around 12 years old and wanted a puppy really bad. For a couple years, we talked about it, and then Mom and Dad and my grandparents (Dad's parents) looked around in the papers, etc. for a puppy. I didn't really have a specific breed in mind or anything...just wanted a puppy. Well, Papa and Grandmother had owned bird dogs all their life...so I can't remember exactly, but somehow we found a private breeder who bred Brittanys, a classic bird dog. Papa and Grandmother drove me down to around Evans/Harlem, Ga. (around Augusta) and went to visit this breeder to look at what she had.

I remember walking in the lady's house - and one of the only ones she had left was the runt of the litter. She was small, the lady said, but she's a good dog. The first time I laid eyes on my sweet Ginger, she was laying on her right side - with both sets of feet straight out in front of her - tucked in this little corner behind an easy chair. We all knew when we saw her that she was the one - so we took her home that day. She rode in the backseat of the car with me all the way home and was just as sweet as she could be. She had the most beautiful markings - white with the reddish/tan that is typical of most Brittanys. I thought the color looked like a ginger color - so I named her "Ginger" on the way home. It fit!

Over the years, and as I grew up, she would go to visit Papa and Grandmother down at the lake house on Lake Oconee off an on. She loved it down there...it was a secluded place where she had acres and acres of land to run and hunt on...and it was safe and she didn't have to be locked up. She never ran away...she stayed close and would always come back if she didn't. It got to where we hated to bring her back to my parent's house with the large kennel to run in...it was nothing compared to what she had down at the lake. So after I went to college, she pretty much went down there and stayed with my grandparents.

Ginger hunted squirrels and chipmunks, birds, everything down there. She even got in the lake and 'fished' - which usually consisted of her wading in the water with her head looking down for the fish and never catching one. But she was determined to do so!! She'd do it for hours. She would also sit by a tree stump for hours if she had something 'treed.' Ginger loved everyone - honestly and genuinely loved everyone who ever came to the lakehouse. Now, she would be protective if she saw a car or something come down the long driveway that she didn't think belonged, but as soon as they would get out of the car, she would run up and love on them. Ginger also loved to ride in the boat. She would get so giddy when she realized we were about to get on the boat - she would just shake all over with excitement and then jump on in.

When I lived down there for a year after college, she went with me when I walked around our neighborhood and the surrounding neighborhoods. I never had to keep her on a leash when we walked - I walked and she hunted in the woods as we went. It wouldn't matter how long of a walk or how tired she was - sometimes it was upwards of 5 or 6 miles I would walk. She'd come along and stay close the entire time.

Ginger was also the family dog - Papa and Grandmother took care of her - so she was the Ashley's pet, not just mine. We loved that dog so very much.

So back to what happened this weekend. After Papa got off the phone with the vet, he said that the vet recommended that we bring her in. So we decided to get up early Saturday (Jan 12) and take her on in. They were only open on Saturdays 'till noon - so we took her on up there early. On the way to the vet, looking back, she knew something was happening. By the look in her eyes, a tired, 'help me' kind of look - she knew. And I think she was ready.

But we were really just going to take her in to see if something could be done. We were hoping - but were trying to be prepared just in case.

When we got back into the room, I picked her up and she refused to lay down on the vet table. She stood and put her head on my left shoulder. I just held her torso and rubbed her. The vet came in, listened to her heart, upper digestive tract and lower digestive tract. He took a fecal sample - and Ginger did not even flinch. Normally she squirmed at that, but not then. The doc said what was happening is that she had absolutely no upper or lower bowel sounds at all. He believed that the pancreas had shut down - causing the digestive tract to not break down any food because it didn't have the enzymes to do so. He also thought she had intestinal cancer - causing the pancreas to shut down, and then one by one the others would follow. He said that they could give her enzyme pills for awhile - but that would ultimately delay the inevitable. I asked the doc if there was anything else that could be done - and he replied, "no Joy, I'm sorry, but there is really nothing left to do. She's a pretty sick dog and I think it's time to make a decision."

So Papa was there with me - and we made the decision to go ahead and put her to sleep. The HARDEST thing I have ever had to do. It's a double edged sword - I don't want her to suffer, but I don't want to play God either. I knew it was humane and she would be okay and not feel a thing...but I still didn't like the idea that I was essentially going to give an order to kill my sweet puppy. But I knew it was the right thing to do. With a heavy heart and lots of tears...I told the doc to go ahead and do it. It was fast, about 10 seconds. Ginger was finally at peace.

We took her home, and got everything ready for the burial. Papa and Grandmother had feared a few weeks before Christmas that her death was near - and just to be prepared they had a little pine box made for her. I had bought fabric - wine crushed velvet, to be exact - to line the box with. I only wanted the best for her. So Lisa was down there too - and we lined the box, Dad came down and we got the hole dug (hard work, by the way because of the cold and Ga red clay).

Lisa works at the UGA Veterinary School, and she said that when dogs are euthanized there - they don't always allow the family to have the remains because of diseases, what have you. What they do is they make a paw print of the animal and send it to the family. So that is what we did...we got some plaster of paris and made Ginger's paw print. It was so sweet.

We buried her next to Grandmother's beloved persian cat, Cinderella, that is next to a Dogwood tree facing the lake. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with - and I feel like I have been through so much, especially last year.

But I have a million pictures and a million memories of my sweet Ginger - she will live on in that way. She's up in Heaven with all of our other loved ones - running, fishing, and treeing things. Ginger was truly the Ashley family's best friend. We love you sweet girl.

Me giving Ginger a good belly rub about 3 or 4 years ago

This is how she would sleep sometimes...everything up in the air! It was so cute.

Our sweet Ginger
1994-2008